TheHolisticParent.ORG Milksharing

Milk Sharing

What is milk sharing?

Milk sharing is the sharing of breast milk from one mother to another.

Is it safe?

Yes, it can be very safe. Generally, milk that is acceptable for one baby will also be fine
for another baby. There are some things to consider, so keep reading.

Why would some moms need to share milk?

There are several reasons why a mom may not be able to make enough milk for her
baby. Women who have had a breast reduction, mastectomy, or other type of breast
surgery may not be able to lactate or if they do lactate, unable to produce enough milk
to meet their baby’s needs. It’s not that these women don’t try though. Women who
have trouble with lactation, but are committed to breastfeed, may work harder than
anyone to breastfeed their babies. There are also congenital anomalies in about 5% of
our population that affect milk supply.

Who can donate milk?

Healthy women who produce more milk than their baby needs may consider donating
milk. There are certain medications that may exclude you from donating milk. Also, if
you have a known infection such as HIV or Hepatitis B, you should refrain from
donating. Different moms may have different standards of milk they are willing to
accept, but as a general rule of thumb, a donating mom should be disease free; a
nonsmoker; not a heavy drinker (and dump any milk after having alcoholic beverages);
be on little to no medications; and be in a monogamous relationship.

Why should I consider donating my milk?

It is truly a beautiful gift one mother can give to another. Mothers committed to giving
their baby the absolute best can be devastated when they do not produce enough milk.
They may feel guilty or inadequate. There is a wide range of emotions a woman may
experience and all of them are for the most part normal. Having another mother willing
to give her milk to help another baby is the silver lining to the situation. Most recipient
families feel eternally grateful to their donors. There are also babies with special
needs or babies that are premature where it is essential for them to have breast milk.
There is also the issue of adoption. Adopted babies can certainly also benefit from
breast milk. All babies deserve the best.

Who is sharing milk not for?

Milk sharing is not for people who are too lazy, tired, busy, and whatever other excuse to
breastfeed their babies. If you value breastfeeding, and you have the ability, then you
need to be the one doing it. Moms who donate their milk work hard to get it. They may
have to increase their pumping. There can be added expenses of storage bags,
pumps, etc for donating moms, although some recipient moms do help cover the
costs. Basically, the need for breast milk should be legitimate. If the need is legitimate,
however, a mother should not feel guilty for having the need. Don’t be afraid to ask for
and accept help. Your baby deserves it.

How to Overcome the Cultural Stigma of Sharing Milk?

In some cultures, it is perfectly normal and accepted to share breast milk. It is
becoming more popular and accepted in the United States, however, it may take some
getting used to for some women. It is a very personal decision to feed your child
someone else’s milk. Getting to know your donors and trusting them is essential to
feeling okay about donated milk. If something doesn’t feel right, then trust your gut. If
you don’t feel comfortable with a particular donor for whatever reason, then skip that
particular person. The same goes for mothers donating their milk. You’ve worked hard
to collect and make your milk. It is very precious. You want to pick a family that you can
feel good about and know that your milk is being appreciated and valued. If you don’t
feel that for a particular family, don’t feel guilty about it. There are plenty of families out
there that you can feel good about. That situation just probably wasn’t correct. Knowing
how wonderful and beneficial breast milk is can help donors and recipients alike get
past any social stigmas. It’s not gross, and it’s really not that big of a deal. You’ll find
people out there that are totally supportive of it, and others who are very critical. If milk
sharing seems right for you, just ignore the critical people.

Is breast milk really that much better than formula?

Answer is a resounding yes! Formula has become more advanced since it was first
introduced, and if that is your only option for your baby for whatever reason, then your
baby will most likely survive. But it’s certainly not the ideal situation. Breast milk is an
incredible substance. Formula cannot even come close. Formula is also contaminated
with lots of chemicals, even medications. Breast milk may not be completely
contaminate-free, but it is certainly the better choice in almost every circumstance.
Breast milk is perfectly suited to a baby’s growing needs. It is a living substance. This
doesn’t even come close to describing how wonderful breast milk is. Check out the
section on breastfeeding for more.

Should breast milk be pasteurized?

It’s true that pasteurizing breast milk can kill potential bacteria in the breast milk. There
is a lot of controversy surrounding pasteurizing breast milk however. Personally, I do
not support the pasteurizing of breast milk. Pasteurizing breast milk kills many of its
beneficial properties. Pasteurizing takes a living substance and makes it dead. I prefer
to give my baby the freshest things possible, breast milk included. If you’re extremely
worried or uncomfortable, pasteurized breast milk is certainly better than no breast
milk. You can even pasteurize it yourself. It’s called flash heating. There are videos on
YouTube with step by step instructions.

How do I go about donating my breast milk?

I’m glad you asked. There are several options. You can donate to a milk bank. They
have certain stipulations of what they will and will not accept. They do pasteurize the
breast milk. If you decide to donate your milk to a milk bank, do your research on
different milk banks. There are milk banks out there that are not as honest as would
seem. I personally feel uncomfortable with how much milk banks charge for the milk
they sell to families that was donated in the first place. There is a company called
Prolacta also known as The National Milk Bank (which is actually a pharmaceutical
company) that seems to have questionable practices. Check out http://thelactivist.
blogspot.com/2006/10/donating-milk-know-who-you-are-sending.html. I have also
heard rumors of a company that advertises the sending of milk to Africa. You are made
to believe your milk is going to help children who have lost their mothers to AIDS
amongst other things. The part this company does not tell you is that they only send
10% of the milk donated to these children in desperate need of breast milk. The rest
they keep for "research purposes" and goes to pharmaceutical companies. I am not
very comfortable with this practice.

I personally have found a resource that I am much more supportive of. It’s called www.
milkshare.com. This is truly a wonderful website. It is free to join for those donating
their milk. All you have to do is post about yourself and your situation and say that you
have milk you want to donate. People who are looking for milk can than contact you. It’s
a great way to share milk because it’s free. Milkshare does not support the paying of
breast milk. This is nice because there is a steep mark up for milk from milkbanks. It
can cost around $100.00 a day! Most families cannot afford that. Milk banks are also so
formal and impersonal. Milkshare allows you to get to know who you’re giving or getting
milk from. It can become a very special relationship. I have made several good friends
through the sharing of breast milk! The website does cost $15.00 to join for those
looking to receive breast milk. Don’t be weary of this though. There are lots of people
donating on the site and chances are you will find someone. It is also bound to
increase in popularity as more people find out it is out there. Sadly, many women do
not know what to do with their extra milk and throw it out. It is my hope to spread the
word about this incredible site.

How to be safe when accepting breast milk?

Most importantly, trust your gut. Not every situation will work out and that is okay. I find it
very comforting if the donor already has a baby they are nursing. Most mothers will not
put their own children in harm’s way, so their milk is most likely safe. It is important too
that the partner of the women be supportive of the donation of breast milk. You have to
be able to trust both the woman donating and her partner. You should be able to ask a
woman any questions you desire that pertain directly to the quality of the milk and if she
is sincere about donating should not take offense to them. Most women are very
receptive to questions, however, make sure they are appropriate and pertinent. You will
not be able to control everything that goes into the breast milk such as caffeine, dairy,
toxins from food, etc. Some moms may be willing to work with you regarding their diet
if there are circumstances necessitating it for the baby. Ultimately though, if you’re very
health conscious, you will have to let some things go and just be grateful knowing
breast milk is the best thing for your baby. A donating woman should be willing and
able to provide lab records displaying a clean bill of health or be willing to have them
retaken if necessary.

How to be safe when donating?

Women who want to donate their milk may also have a few concerns. Donating
families should be able to provide appropriate information necessitating need. Women
who have had breast surgeries often have access to their surgery report proving they
have had surgery. Some women want to make sure they are donating to a legitimate
baby. If you are shipping milk, many families feel comfortable sending photos of their
baby. Many moms prefer local donations to get to know the family and meet the baby
they are donating to (but being willing to ship really does help many families out!).
Some women feel uncomfortable with responsibility pertaining to future problems a
child may have later in life. Breast milk donors are not responsible for this. If a child
contracts an illness or other issues, it is very unlikely that breast milk would be found
responsible or be able to trace this back to a donor. Most families must use more than
one donor to meet their child’s need for milk. Most families will feel comfortable
signing a waiver releasing the donor from any responsibility pertaining to these issues.
Most moms feel very grateful to their donors, and this is usually not an issue.

What is proper donor etiquette?

The donor mom has the responsibility of putting her own baby first. She has the
responsibility of taking care of herself and working to make safe, healthy milk. She has
the responsibility of refraining from donating if she cannot meet safety standards. She
has the responsibility of maintaining good hygiene. She is also responsible for having
her own pump.

The recipient mom has the responsibility of shipping expenses if applicable. Recipient
moms often pay for storage bags. Recipient moms have the responsibility of making
sure donor milk is safe for their baby. Recipient moms should be willing to drive to pick
up donor milk. Recipient moms have the responsibility of using donor milk wisely and
being responsible with it (i.e. not leaving it out to waste).

Resources

It is ridiculously hard to find resources on sharing milk. Most that are out there are
foolishly against it because they have bought into the cultural stigma or they have no
faith in a mother's ability to secure safe milk for her child. I have included the few that I
have found. I do no include any milk banks websites because I do not support the
selling of breast milk in any form, and most milk banks charge outrageous amounts.

www.milkshare.com Provides a lot of information and connects donors and recipients

http://www.theexcellentadventure.com/elementalmom/2008/07/29/milk-and-
love/#comments Great post about milk sharing, important to read

http://thelactivist.blogspot.com/2007/06/my-thoughts-on-prolacta-international.html
Information about a for profit milk bank. Very good read.

http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/200903_omag_milk_bank Very touching
story about one mom's donation. Made me cry.

Empowering Parents to Make Holistic Choices For The Benefit of Their Children

Calling All
Birth Stories!
Click Here
To Submit
Yours!

Visit our
Book Review
Blog
Click Here

Download
our FREE
GIFT! The
best money
saving tool
ever.
CLICK HERE

The Holistic Parent.ORG