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Traditional School

This section is not intended to criticize the traditional school system by any means.
Homeschooling is not for everyone. It takes a desire to homeschool by both the children
and the parents. Sometimes, traditional schooling is the only option for families at
certain times or all times. Most of us get through the traditional school system just fine.
Instead, I would like for this section to cover a few insights to what you may be giving up
if you choose not to homeschool. It is not easy to break mainstream thinking and
actually think outside of the box. It would be all too easy to read about homeschooling
and immediately write it off as impossible. Things would probably go just fine if you
decide not to homeschool, but if you want something truly extraordinary, perhaps give
homeschooling a try.

Responsibility

Parents who homeschool usually feel a responsibility for their child’s learning, and this
is what drives them to their decision. There is no doubt that giving a child an education
and having a nation of educated, intelligent, and productive people is of the utmost
importance. This is precisely why parents who are involved in their children’s lives want
to ensure their children receive the best education possible. Homeschooling is often
the best way to accomplish this. A quote from the book The Homeschooling Option
sums up my point nicely.

“When families entrust children to schools, they are giving up control over not only six or
more hours of the child’s day, but what subjects the child will study, how those subjects
will be taught, how well the child’s approach to learning will be understood and
accommodated, and whether or how much the child will be tested. For many families,
especially if they see their children struggling or not thriving in school, this loss of
control feels like an abdication of parental responsibility. They feel a duty to provide
children with the education they deserve.”

Disconnect

Another aspect that is a possible outcome of traditional schooling is a disconnect with
your children. To be connected, it is important to spend time connecting. It is about
spending time together and being involved in each other’s lives. This is hard to do when
your children are away from you all day. For many parents, sending their children away
to school goes against their natural instincts, which is precisely why we have included a
homeschooling section on our website. Why do mothers cry when they put their little
kindergartener on the bus? It just doesn’t seem right to a lot of moms. Some ignore that
instinct, while others simply can’t. Being away from your children all day has the
potential for a parent to have to detach from their children just a little so it is not so
painful to send them. This little detachment starts to grow until one day you may feel that
you don’t know your children at all. When children go to school, you may have no idea
how they learn best, what they are learning, how they are being influenced, amongst
many other things.

Influence

When you are not with your children, they may be exposed to things you are not
comfortable with. I know it is unrealistic to shield your child from everything, but it is still
a parent’s job to protect your child from what you can. Here’s two quotes on the topic
that I found helpful. They come from the book So You’re Thinking About Homeschooling.

“I wasn’t willing to give some stranger twice as much time as I got in the day to shape
and mold my child.”

“I knew that I had done my absolute best to teach my girls how to be kind and respectful,
but it is hard to compete with the world’s influence when your child is away from you
eight hours a day.”

Helicopter Parent

Another byproduct of sorts from traditional schooling is something known as the
“helicopter” parent. This typically happens when a parent gives away a lot of their
decision making capabilities as is common with traditional schooling. They often lose
sight of their instincts and just go with the flow. It happens in part when a parent
becomes detached or disconnected from their children. They may not know where their
authority as parents lies, how to help their children, how to be involved in their children’s
lives, what is too much or too little in regards to anything and everything. The ability to
discern their role in their children’s lives diminishes. Now, this doesn’t necessarily have
to happen. Not all parents of children who go to a traditional school experience this, but
it is certainly a huge possibility. There comes a time when a teacher’s opinion may be
more regarded than it should be or when friends become more important in the child’s
life. Things like this do not have to happen. There is a lot of emphasis placed in our
culture on the difficult teenage years; a time when children naturally become more
disconnected from their parents. It is my belief that in some instances, traditional
schooling complicates this time. If parents have slowly over time become less
connected with their kids, it’s not a surprise when they complain of not knowing their
children once they become teenagers. Irregardless of how you choose to school, it is
imperative to stay connected to your children. The key is to figure out what the best way
to stay connected for your situation.

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