TheHolisticParent.ORG The Birth Of Adalia Desiree

The Birth Of Lucas Joseph

Lucas Joseph - August 17, 2009. 10:00 AM, born at 38 weeks, 1 day. 4 lbs 8 oz,
17 1/2 inches.

I woke up about 6:30 Sunday morning with some pretty strong cramps that had
been coming on and off all night. They started a little on Saturday, but were just
few and far between. Oddly enough, Saturday night I had a total breakdown in
bed about labor and delivery. It started out because I just couldn’t get
comfortable in bed and turned into a breakdown about being scared to have
him and what was going to happen. I definitely never thought I would be going
into labor the next day! Or maybe that was the start of it all? Up until that point I
hadn’t really let myself think about the fear involved because I really believed,
and still do, that for the most part our bodies are meant to do this and know
what to do. But it really hit me Saturday night, I think because I knew it was
closer than ever before. Looking back, I think it’s so totally weird that I freaked
out that much, just that one time, right before I went into labor.

Anyway, I had just had what felt like menstrual cramps during the night and
since I had a few every now and then for the past couple weeks I really didn’t
think much of it. However, when I woke up at 6:30 and found them to be coming
about everyone 8-12 minutes I thought maybe something was going on. I still
didn’t believe that I was going into labor at exactly 38 weeks though. For some
reason I was just expecting to be late.

I tried to just relax in bed for a little while and woke Matt around 7:30/8:00 I
believe and we started timing them. Until about 10:00 they were coming
anywhere from 5-8 minutes apart and feeling a little more painful as time went
on. Nothing I couldn’t handle though. Around 10:30 or 11:00 we decided to call
my parents, who brought over some bagels and cream cheese for us to eat.
We ate and I had contractions through breakfast as we kind of walked around in
circles.
We still weren’t sure if we should finish packing bags, etc. Just before this is
when we called my midwife. Because it was Sunday we wanted to give them a
heads up of what was going on and to be honest, I really just wanted to find out
who the on call midwife was. I was really hoping it was Linda, who is my
primary midwife and I just love her. It wasn’t. We got a call back from Lori, a
midwife I had never met before. I was bummed. I looked her info up on their
website and found that she commutes (1 big weekend a month) from Ohio. I
would later learn a lot more about her like she was one of the founding
members of the practice and “the best”.

Lori asked me how I was feeling and how far we lived from the hospital (45
minutes). She said that unless I wanted to come in I could easily stay home
and labor there (she also asked what type of birth I was planning for, medicated
or un-medicated – definitely un-medicated) for awhile. She said to call back or
just come in when my contractions were about 2-4 minutes apart for 1-2 hours.

From about 10:45 -12:15 or so my contractions were all about 2-4 minutes
apart. Matt continued to help me move around the house and I took a shower,
shaved, and put on makeup. Somewhere just before 12 or so I think we
decided to go take a walk outside. It was surprisingly cool with a nice breeze –
rare for August in Tennessee! I was very comfortable outside and walking,
however we couldn’t get more than 2 houses without contractions beginning to
come a bit stronger and closer together. We decided we would walk home,
finish packing up, and head to the hospital.

I don’t know what came over me when deciding to go so early, or at least it
seemed early to me, but really I had already been in labor about 6 hours if I start
counting at 6:30 that morning. I always joked that I wanted to show up ready to
push and was somewhat envious of the birth stories I read from our Bradley
instructor about women who ended up delivering in parking garages because
they arrived so late. But living so far away and not knowing how much longer it
could be; we wanted to get going.

We called my parents again to let them know we were going to go in and my
mom stopped at Starbucks for us and the drugstore to get bags of candy for the
nursing staff. We wanted to bribe them when we gave them our birth plan. Once
my mom arrived with everything we were ready to go and she decided she’d go
home and get ready and her and my dad would meet us up at the hospital after
we got checked in and admitted just awhile later.

I think one of the reasons I felt comfortable going to the hospital so early were
the horror stories I heard about being in transition in a moving car with nowhere
to move to get away from the pain. Waiting until you are later in labor, you
definitely take that risk and that part did make me nervous. I was thankful that
we actually didn’t have a horrible ride up to the hospital, but Matt did make the
drive in about 30-35 minutes. I was doing fine, but he was pumped and ready to
fly there! One thing that did worry me was that I only had a few contractions in
the car on the way there, so definitely different than they were just a little while
ago at home. Still, I’m not sure I was convinced I was really going to have a
baby that day instead of a few weeks from now.
We got to the hospital and I wanted to park ourselves so I could walk some
more. It was really quiet up on the 4th floor of labor and delivery and we waited
just a few minutes while they checked us in and got my room ready. I was still
doing okay. The contractions didn’t feel good at all, but I could easily breathe
through them and move on.

We got room number 9! This only means what it does because it’s the only
room with a birthing tub in that is available for the midwife patients to labor in. It
is a first come, first serve basis and I really, really wanted it, and so I was
beyond excited!

We got into the room and they had me get in bed and hooked me up to a
contraction monitor and fetal heart rate monitor. I didn’t want continuous
monitoring if I didn’t need it, but when you first arrive they want 20 minutes on
just to see what is going on so I was cool with it since I wasn’t in too much pain
yet. Baby’s heart rate was great and they were just waiting for Lori (the on call
midwife) to arrive to check me and see how far along I was progressing, etc.

Lori arrived not too long after we got settled in and seemed nice enough. I still
was pretty unhappy at the thought of a midwife I’ve never even met delivering
me, but at this point I just had to make my peace with it. She checked me and I
was 4 centimeters and 100% effaced! My cervix was still fairly far back though.
That was my first internal exam since they are not big on doing them before 40
weeks at the midwifery group I go to and I wouldn’t have wanted one anyway. A
part of me did wonder if I had made that progress during the past 6-7 hours or if
I had been walking around at 3 or 4 cm for awhile now. I will never know.

Lori wanted to monitor Lucas a bit to see him react to contractions, etc so we
were stuck there for a bit. After he did well, but my contractions had spaced out
a bit, I was told it would be good to go walk the halls for a bit and get things
moving. At 4 cm and 100% effaced I was now convinced that we’d be having a
baby sooner rather than later!

Walking the halls I had some pretty painful contractions. At the time they were
the worst yet, but they were nothing compared to what was to come. My doula,
Heather was on her way, and my parents and Matt were there walking with me. I
do remember thinking “this hurts so bad, how am I going to handle it when I get
further and further along into labor?” though. It really helped to throw my arms
around Matt’s neck and kind of swing and sway back and forth as a contraction
came in the hallway.

After an hour of walking we went back to be checked again. I was now 5
centimeters. I was happy with that, but Lori thought I wasn’t really progressing
fast enough (I was surprised because I had always heard they admit you for
“active labor” at around 4 centimeters and here it was I came in at 4 and was
now 5). Either way, she was concerned that my contractions just weren’t close
enough anymore and as intense as they “should” be. She began talking about
sending me home. I hadn’t even gotten to use the tub yet and now I could lose it!

Our doula, Heather, was there at this point and we were so thankful we met her
and got to use her at the last minute. We’d just met the week before! Heather
thought it was crazy that Lori was wanting to send us home, but after talking
about it and realizing that the contractions just weren’t coming as they should; I
didn’t want to sit in the hospital and get to the point of them having to intervene.
Either I was progressing or I wasn’t and if I wasn’t, I wanted to go home so I
understood.

We left the hospital around 8 PM and stopped at Qdoba to get dinner on the way
home. I was told to eat a good dinner, take a bath, and relax. Knowing my
contractions really stalled out while being the hospital bed, I thought we’d easily
be able to go home and eat then head to bed. We all weren’t sure if I’d be
coming back later that night or in days or if things would just totally stop. At this
point I was just tired and wanted SOMETHING to happen either way. Either get
this show on the road or quit it and feel normal again.

Boy were we surprised!!! By around 10:00 we were in bed and the contractions,
even when laying down and doing nothing to ‘bring them on’, came on fast and
strong. Matt put on my HypnoBirthing CD, but I was in so much pain by then that
I couldn’t even hear the words I think. Around 10:30 we began timing them
again and while they were not super close, they were so painfully different and
regular that Matt called our doula who had also gone home and told her we
were heading back to the hospital soon we thought. We called the hospital to
let them know.
We got back around 1 AM and when through the ER because that’s the only way
to get in after hours. It was a good thing, too, because the contractions were
now regularly every few minutes and more pain than I could handle in terms of
walking myself into the hospital. I took a ride in a wheelchair back up to the 4th
floor where I was terrified I had just given up my Room 9 just a few hours
earlier. I was ready to be so mad at Lori for sending us home. In the meantime,
a new midwife (Tonia, who I’d also never met before) had come on call so I
was somewhat happy about that.

The man who wheeled me upstairs asked me what room to take me into and I
think I almost ran there myself when they told him 9! Yes, I still got the birthing
tub!

We got checked back in and our doula arrived about an hour or so later. Tonia
was also working with another midwife that night, Melissa, and they came into
introduce themselves and check me. I was 6 ½ centimeters and my cervix was
much more forward now! Lucas was at 0 station. I was really scared that I was
going to have been in all that pain for nothing, so I was really excited I’d made
that much progress so fast. At this point it was around 2 AM and we’d been up
laboring since 6:30 that morning. As someone who’s never been able to do
well without sleep, I was feeling so tired.

Since I had progressed and was obviously now in active labor Tonia and
Melissa asked me if I’d like to get in the birth tub. YES!!!! It took a good team of
people to set it up (it’s a moveable one) and I was handling the contractions
pretty well at this point still. One thing I noticed about them is I was almost
unsure of when one would start, it would build up a little slowly and then all of a
sudden it was like a train wreck and hurt so bad. Then it would begin to taper off
again.

I got into the tub in my hospital gown and Tonia assured me I could wear that or
go naked and I certainly would not be the first. I was a little nervous to do this…I
never thought I’d be one of those woman who labored naked in the room or in
water for anyone to see. Looking back at worrying about this now, I laugh when I
think about when I began pushing! I can’t believe I cared!

I ended up putting on a black nursing tank and wearing just that in the tub for
many of the next few hours. The water definitely helped, but most of the
contractions were so painful that I needed a ton of help from Matt and our doula,
Heather. Matt was so incredibly helpful and supportive through everything. He
was so tired as well, but was right there for everything and wanting to do
anything to make me feel better. Heather was amazing at bringing great scents
into the room, giving Matt ideas, and doing things herself to make me feel
better. One thing that really helped for many hours was being in the warm water
but during a contraction I would lean over the side of the tub and Heather and
Matt would wring iced cold wash cloths out over my back, while keeping one on
my lower back and my forehead. The pain was more intense than I ever
imagined and there were many times I questioned myself for wanting to go
naturally, but after every contraction I was still glad I was doing it this way even
though I was pretty sure I wanted to die during the peak of each one. I also felt
like I had to pee during a lot of the contractions in the tub, so I’d get out and go
to the bathroom. I think the process of getting in and out as well as sitting on
the toilet (I’d have a huge contraction every time I’d sit there) really helped move
things along as well.

I say move things along, but after hours of all of this it was about 6:30 and I’d
been in labor for 24 hours now with still no baby. I was exhausted. In between
contractions now I’d actually begin to drift off while floating in the tub, but this
almost then made each contraction feel worse I think. For a little while they felt a
bit further apart and this helped me “sleep” a little between them. It was almost
7 AM now and another shift change was about to happen. I was so upset
because Tonia and Melissa were leaving and I’d really liked Melissa who had
been the one to check on me most often. She was so caring every time she
came into check on me and so encouraging. She was always telling me how
well I was doing and how proud she was which was really nice to hear. Lori
was coming back on at 7 and honestly I wasn’t thrilled. I was really hoping to
have had Lucas by then to avoid this and really thought I would have. I cried
when I realized Tonia and Melissa we leaving and there was no way I was
having a baby before that.
The next couple hours are a bit of a blur, but I remember being checked again
and I think it was by Melissa, not Lori, so it may have been just before 7, but I
am not 100% sure. I was 8 cm now. I remember being so disappointed that I
had spent all of those painful hours just going from 6 ½ to 8 cm, but everyone
assured me that that was the hard part and it was a huge deal to get to 8. The
next 2 would go by fast. I was so tired and done with labor that I didn’t believe
them. The pain was so bad that I think I started asking for drugs around this
point. I’m not sure I ever asked for an epidural, but I think I just kept begging for
them to DO something, give me something, anything.

Matt says now that he can thank our Bradley Method instructor, Jeannie for
helping me achieve the birth I dreamed of. She always told us in class that
when women start begging for drugs that is when things are getting to the end
and it will all be over soon. (Transition) Matt said without knowing this he might
have helped me get some drugs, but him knowing this and Heather being there
to encourage me to keep going and discourage me from drugs, they were
never even on the table. I think I was begging for them because I didn’t know
what else to say, but if push came to shove, I know I never would have accepted
them. And definitely not an epidural. I thought about it and then thought about all
that would need to come with it (I didn’t have an IV or even a Heplock this entire
time, I stayed hydrated by drinking lots of cold water and juice and also was
allowed to eat when I wanted to. I snacked on blueberry oatmeal muffins I had
made Saturday night and almond granola bars, but really didn’t end up eating
all that much).
By this point I didn’t want to be in the tub anymore and I was on the bed on all
fours. Lori came in and I was in so much pain, the contractions were so close
together and intense that I didn’t even notice it was her or care at this point. She
checked me (on all fours) and I was 9 cm. Because she checked me this way it
was hard for her to tell the other things, but I was quickly beginning to the feel
the need to push with each contraction. I felt like I just really needed to go the
bathroom and I kept saying I had to get up and go, but for some reason I stayed
there.
It’s all kind of a blur for the next couple hours, but I think I began pushing
around 8 AM. This part really surprised me. Yes, pushing felt like a relief from
the pain of the contraction, but it was so hard. I was really sure that my body
would just kind of do what it needed to and I wouldn’t have to work so hard to
push him out. I had heard of people that took hours pushing and always
wondered why that was when I also heard of people saying it took a matter of
minutes or ‘a few pushes’.

I’m not sure how it all happened from there, but I remember still being on all
fours and hearing complete and Lori telling me I could begin to try pushing
whenever I felt like I needed to. I remember just screaming a lot, begging for
them to make it stop, and saying I needed to go to the bathroom.

Pushing on all fours didn’t work and they were wanting to monitor Lucas as I
pushed which made that hard for them, but mostly just very irritating for me. My
mom walked in at this point (they had been there for a while, but I didn’t know it)
and Matt told me I yelled at her to get out. (Sorry mom!)

After a little while we tried pushing in a squatting position on the bed with Matt
and Heather holding me up, but I was so tired by this point – we were at over 24
hours of labor and I had no energy whatsoever – that there was no way I could
even do that. I pushed with everything I had and felt like I was doing nothing,
even though they all said with every push I moved Lucas down and out some. I
didn’t believe them and at one point told them to just pull him out or that I
wanted a C Section – to just cut him out. I was miserable and I really didn’t
expect it to feel so awful. I think a part of me was also still scared about how
this was all going to end up.

Lori was so patient with me and there were 2 or 3 nurses there helping out too.
Lori never once suggested any intervention or her doing anything, she just
stayed down there pretty much ready to catch and just kept encouraging me to
push when I felt the contraction build up enough, take deep breaths between
when I wanted to push, etc. She was definitely amazing and I felt bad because I
am pretty sure I was not pleasant to be around during this time whatsoever.

I ended up pushing for about 2 ½ hours I believe and Lucas was born at 10:00
AM on the dot. Getting his head out was definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever
done. I didn’t think I could do it and thinking back now it still freaks me out. It
was just so painful and hard. The “ring of fire” everyone talks about when they
are crowning was true for me, but it didn’t burn quite as much as I expected
from hearing that. Once I finally got his head out (which I am told I would push
out a little and it would keep slipping back, which I had learned was normal) all
I felt was relief. I felt the rest of his entire body just slide right out and it felt so
good for everything to just stop. Pain went from a 10 (okay, more like 100) to a 0
within seconds.

A few random notes here: Earlier I was afraid my water wasn’t going to break. I
had asked Melissa what happens if it doesn’t break on its own because I was
so afraid of any interventions and knew if Lori had to break my water things
would be even more painful probably. Melissa said it was really unlikely that my
water wouldn’t eventually break and even if that was the case, babies could be
born like that. My water did break though, I believe around the end of transition
or while I was starting to push. It was never a huge gush or anything which I
was afraid of all day. I also was really afraid of tearing or even worse, an
episiotomy. I know they are super rare with the midwives and I told them of
course didn’t want one, but that was definitely one of my fears. I also was
scared of the FEELING of tearing, but I did tear and had no idea whatsoever at
the time.

After Lucas came out, they threw him on my chest and cut the cord right away.
This is when I began to wonder what was going on because the midwives don’t
usually do that, I had requested that they wait to cut it until it stops pulsating,
and they didn’t even offer to have Matt cut it. Within seconds Lucas was taken
from my chest and next to me I saw about 10 NICU people who had just rushed
in our room. I later learned that my parents had been in the waiting room at this
point and saw them running down the hallway and were scared it was for me.
They were right. They were working on him and I looked over and saw Matt with
him crying. I started crying of course and Lori and Heather kept reassuring me
he was fine. I’m still not 100% sure of the chain of events, but I think Lori
thought he might have had the cord around him so that’s why they were
originally called. Or because I took so long to push him out, his heart rate was
dropping with each contraction and push. When he came out he just needed
their help to begin crying and stuff like that, but otherwise he was totally fine.

He was tiny and Lori and the nurses all guessed around 6 to 6.5 lbs. After the
NICU people were done with him they brought him back to my chest Matt and I
were just in awe. A few minutes later they brought the scale over to me and
weighed him…4 lbs 8 oz! Everyone was totally shocked. Because he was so
small he was having a little trouble warming up. We did skin to skin for a little
while, but it just wasn’t fast enough and I had been wearing my wet top this
whole time from the tub, so even pulling it up my skin wasn’t dry and hot. I got to
hold Lucas while Lori waited to deliver the placenta. I remember Heather
standing with me and telling her I was scared it was going to hurt. After that, you
don’t want to think about one more thing coming out of you! She assured me it
wouldn’t be bad at all and it was definitely no big deal. Then Lori told me she
was going to give me a shot of something to numb me so she could stitch me
up. This is the point where I had no idea I had even torn and it dawned on me
that I did this completely natural with no interventions whatsoever. The shots
hurt a lot, but then I was numb fast and felt nothing. I had a 2nd degree tear
which she said wasn’t very bad at all and in “just the right spot”, whatever that
means. I would guess she spent about 15-30 minutes getting me all stitched
and cleaned up. During this time we did skin to skin and the lactation
consultant came to us, as I had wanted to try to breastfeed right away and
requested that so we got to try that before Lucas and Matt left to go get warm in
the nursery. They measured him there was well, at 17 ½ inches, and it only took
a little while for him to warm right up there and come back to me. He was never
without Matt right by his side.

After about 2 hours (which felt like minutes) they had me up to go to the
bathroom and gave me some great supplies to ‘wear’ and get ready to move to
my postpartum room. I couldn’t believe it was all over. I was terrified to go pee,
but really felt the urge. It was definitely not nearly as bad as I was expecting, in
fact, I am pretty sure it didn’t hurt at all. The numbing shot could have helped
with that though, but honestly even a few days later going to the bathroom isn’t
nearly as scary and painful and I expected. I think I was in shock that I had just
given birth and had just been in labor for 28 hours. I was in shock that I actually
did exactly what I wanted to do and went completely natural. We couldn’t stop
looking at Lucas and still haven’t been able to. It’s so surreal still and we both
keep saying we can’t believe we love him so much already.

The next morning Lori came by to check on us on her way out of town and I was
still really happy that she was the midwife there for us. She was so sweet to me
and so proud of me. She said to me “I don’t know if you realize this, but you
should be incredibly proud of yourself”. Maybe they say that to everyone, I don’t
know, but coming from a midwife I was at first really afraid of having, it meant a
lot.

A few hours later, Linda (my primary midwife), walked in our room. I had no idea
she was there and was so happy to see her! She told me that she was off
Sunday, but was following everything on the computer and was so proud of me
and so happy. I also learned why Lucas is so small and why I went into labor at
38 weeks. Apparently on Friday when they took my blood, they found that my uric
acid levels were high. Even though there was no protein in my urine (yet), this is
often an even earlier sign of preeclampsia and that Lucas might have been not
gaining weight anymore. I asked Linda what would have happened if I hadn’t
gone into labor and she said they likely would have checked my urine again in a
week and found protein. It all dawned on me that that would have likely have to
have led to an induction, which I was really scared of and did not want. Linda
said that my body just realized things weren’t going well anymore, Lucas wasn’t
growing, and it was time to get him out. It’s amazing that with all that going on
and what it could have been, we still got to have the natural birth I wanted for us
and Lucas, despite being tiny, is incredibly healthy and doing well. He’s
preemie size, but has the strength of a full term, big baby. In fact, he’s incredibly
strong and everyone at the hospital kept commenting on they cannot believe he’
s that tiny and acts like he does.

A few days out, and I think I am still in some shock. I can’t believe my body did
what it did, and I can’t believe it took so long. I know it wasn’t crazy long or
anything, but for some reason I just didn’t expect to labor for 28 hours and push
that long. I had done so much reading and research that I felt natural birth was
just that, natural, and it would just happen, but I still worked so much harder
than I could even have expected. I had done a ton of research about natural
birth and I have to say, it really did help. I went through so many things that
without knowing beforehand I would have questioned if they were normal or
what to do, but having that knowledge from our Bradley classes and everything
else really helped. Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth was very helpful and her “horse
lips” during the peak of contractions really got me through a lot when I felt
myself not being able to take deep breaths and breathe through them. It was
really hard to make myself continue to breath and not just shut down, but
thinking about keeping my body limp and relaxed, doing “horse lips”, and
having Matt and Heather reassure me I wasn’t going to die and I needed
breathe deeply for Lucas really helped.

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